“Sold! To the lady in the red dress” called out the auctioneer at the fundraiser I was attending over the summer. I was the one wearing the red dress and what I won was an opportunity to go out of my comfort zone … way out. It was a day of adventure in the Adirondacks involving rock climbing and paddle boarding, in both of which I have no experience. Some things to know about me … I’m not a big risk taker (more like a calculated risk taker) and I over think just about everything, but because of these things (or in spite of them) I challenge myself to face the fear.
Prior to the actual rock climbing excursion we met at our local rock wall climbing gym just to get acclimated to the gear and process, especially since I have never climbed before. I had two friends going with me, both with varying degrees of experience, Anne, my hiking partner and Ray, an avid climber. I was nervous just going to the gym. I don’t have a real problem with heights, but I do have a healthy appreciation for gravity, so I was OK with the challenge of climbing as long as I didn’t look down for too long and start to contemplate the possibilities. That’s part of what I was wrestling with, climbing up and looking down too much. Anne, being aware of this, gave me a simple goal to not reach too high up, and while I appreciated that, going to the top was the only option in my mind. Yes, I was full of doubt if I could even get off the ground but once I started focusing on each move, I stopped being nervous and made it all the way to the top. However, the real challenge was yet to come!
And so it begins … 
Almost there … 
Made it!
A week later I found myself in the Adirondacks at King Phillips Spring Wall, looking up at the rock wall thinking, “how am I even going to do this??”. My first obstacle was more mental than physical and that was trust. It wasn’t about trusting the belayer holding the rope to keep me from falling (as I hadn’t even gotten off the ground!) … it was to trust my abilities and to believe in myself, two things I have struggled with throughout my life.
It’s very different climbing on actual rock walls. You need to look/feel around for indents or cracks for your fingers to grasp and small protrusions for your toes to step upon. Once I figured out what my first moves were going to be, I then actually had to get myself off the ground. After much encouragement from the poor souls patiently waiting for me to just make a move already, I finally put blind trust in myself and had liftoff! It took me 45 painstakingly slow minutes to reach the top. I overthought every single move and used every single muscle in my body, but I DID IT! I need to say that I greatly appreciated all the support from my friends who didn’t get exasperated with how long I was taking.
After taking a bit of a break while my friend Ray climbed the wall as if he was Spiderman, I took my second turn from a different location along the wall, which of the three rope choices was deemed to be the easiest. I figured I’d do that one to build upon my confidence after successfully climbing a harder one. While still moving at a snails pace, I felt more trusting of my abilities, until…. I slipped. I was so close to the top! I slid what felt like a few feet but in reality was only a few inches, however it was enough to get my heart racing. I plastered myself to the wall to stop, breathing heavily, trying to calm myself. I had forgotten that I was attached to a rope with the belayer on the other end who had me covered.
After some calming breaths I started back up again, and slipped, again! Exactly as I did before. That’s when all the negative thoughts came rushing back into my head – “what are you thinking, you can’t do this, you’re not strong enough, you should just stop”. It would have been easy to just stop right then. Tears were forming in my eyes and I put my head down on my arm feeling like a failure. I took a deep breath and then another. I realized in that moment that I was listening to all the negative self talk and that is not who I am. I slipped twice because I did the exact same thing twice, so I changed my thoughts and my approach. Not exactly sure what I changed but the slight tweak of my feet and hands was all it took to get me that much closer to the top. Actually, I was so focused on my next move I didn’t even realize I could reach the top with my hand until it was pointed out to me.
It’s hard to describe, but I felt a shift inside me from that experience. It was empowering for me and even now as I write this that feeling is still there and I draw from it whenever I start to feel doubt . It’s something I’ll never forget.
As for the rest of that day, it had some more challenges for me. After climbing, we hiked to the top and repelled down. Even though I was feeling pretty good, the idea of literally walking backwards off the edge of the cliff was a bit intimidating. While I was safely harnessed and was given great guidance, that lack of self trust came into play, though maybe not as much as earlier. Regardless, not doing it was not an option, so after a couple deep breaths, over I went. Once you get over the edge, repelling down is actually fun and you are in complete control as to how fast you go down.
For the last experience of the day we headed over to Chapel Pond to go paddle boarding. Now, I could have challenged myself further by attempting to stand up and balance on the board but to be honest I really just wanted to sit on the board and enjoy the beautiful autumn colors surrounding the pond. It’s a peaceful place to just be and to wind down after such a great day.
I really have to give credit to the organizers of the day, Andy Gilpin, Executive Director of Captain Community Human Services and Steve Prettyman of Shiloh’s Edge. With their guidance and the support of my friends, it was an enjoyable experience that I will never forget. Challenge accepted and completed! ✅
Hi Christy,
Mom and I think what you are doing is great. Keep it up.
Love,
Mom & Dad